Three Friends Inside — A Polyvagal Workbook for Kids (Ages 6–11) | Nervous System Regulation for Meltdowns, Shutdown & Big Feelings

When a child melts down, shuts down, or "can't just calm down," they are not being difficult. Their nervous system is doing exactly what it was built to do — and they don't yet have the words for it.

Three Friends Inside gives a child those words.

This is a 37-page printable workbook that teaches children ages 6–11 the three states of their autonomic nervous system through three characters: Otter (the calm, connected state — ventral vagal), Cheetah (the fight-or-flight state — sympathetic), and Hedgehog (the shutdown state — dorsal vagal). Every page is informed by the work of Stephen W. Porges, PhD and Deb Dana, LCSW, translated into language a child can actually use in their body.

What the workbook teaches the child to do

Map first, regulate second. Before any breathing exercise or coping skill, the child learns to notice which friend is visiting — where in their body, what it feels like, what color it is. Naming the state is the regulation. This is the same map adult polyvagal workbooks use, built for a six-year-old's vocabulary.

Inside (37 pages, 5 parts + clinician notes)

Part 1 — Meet Your Three Friends. A character-led introduction to each nervous system state. No clinical jargon. No "good" or "bad" friend.

Part 2 — Notice Your Friends. Body-mapping pages where the child marks where Otter, Cheetah, and Hedgehog live in their body — the same interoceptive skill taught to adults, scaffolded for kids.

Part 3 — The Window of Calm. A child-sized version of the Window of Tolerance. Too big. Too small. Just right.

Part 4 — Friend Tools. Eighteen practices grouped by which friend they help: Eye Hello, Shared Hum, Hand on Heart, Cozy Wrap, Story Voice, Soft Pet (for Otter); Cheetah Shake, Wall Push, Stomp Walk, Big Squeeze, Run in Place, Loud Roar (for Cheetah); Foot Press, Slow Sip, Hum Low, Name 3, Cool Cloth, Curl and Uncurl (for Hedgehog). Each practice includes a four-step visual sequence and a one-line note for the adult co-regulator.

Part 5 — Track and Grow. A weekly tracker so the child can notice which friend visits most — building the meta-awareness that drives long-term regulation.

Grown-Up Notes. Four clinician-grade pages for the adult: how to use the workbook in session, how to prescribe practices between sessions, a short script for what to say when each state shows up, and a list of phrases to avoid ("calm down," "you're fine," "stop it" — phrases that ask a child to override their nervous system rather than partner with it).

Who this is for

Parents whose child has meltdowns, freezes, hides, or "can't explain what's wrong." Therapists, LCSWs, school counselors, and OTs who need a child-friendly polyvagal scaffold for session work and between-session homework. Foster and adoptive parents working with trauma-impacted kids. Homeschooling families building emotional literacy into the day.

What you receive

• 37-page printable PDF
• Original illustrations of Otter, Cheetah, and Hedgehog throughout
• Adult guidance pages with citations
• Instant download — no shipping

Citations

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. W. W. Norton. Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. W. W. Norton.

This workbook does not replace therapy. It is a structured tool for use alongside the adults already supporting a child's nervous system.